Our need to communicate makes us all reach out and vie for the attention of anyone near us. Everything we do in life requires communication with others. Just try to not communicate with people and you will see where that leads you.
Exchange of ideas is a two-way road. It is an activity, something we need to act upon, not a one way street. The honest listener's role is as central to the communication process as the speaker's role. Honest communication and honest connections occur when the listener plus the speaker pay attention to each other.
Since paying attention is as important as speaking in the honest listening process, if you want to improve your skills, you will need to BE THERE!
We are the product of our upbringing, culture, life experiences and anything and everything that makes us who we are. Our individuality can sometimes be a barrier to paying attention. As we honestly listen, we need to remain open to what is being said. Become aware of what your triggers are in the communication process and what shuts you down from paying attention.
Monitor your own and other peoples listening routines. Remember how it felt when someone took their time to listen to you and when they didn't. Take a moment to list the behaviors that you find annoying in the listening habits of other people and then scrutinize your own behaviors. See if you just might be exhibiting the same behaviors you find annoying. Create an inventory of the habits you want to amend. Making sure you take the time to salute yourself for honest listening habits you have that do work. Once you spot and diminish habits that get in the way of your ability to pay attention, you'll increase your usefulness as a listener.
Honestly take the time to listen to the speaker without jumping in with a quick response. That way you can hear everything that is being said, taking note of the entire points and then answer. I know the appeal of jumping in at the natural breathing pauses with your own thoughts. But filling that pause with your own reflections will take you out of the current conversation and make you lose your attention to the speaker's main talking points.
Have empathy. Empathy is clearing out the mind and honestly listening with your the whole heart. This is a respectful way of understanding what others are experiencing. Giving your attention over fully to them is the best gift we as honest listeners can bestow.
Create an environment for honest listening to occur. Remove distractions. If you don't give the time or space to be an honest listener the speaker will feel stressed. Plus you won't be available to pay attention to what the speaker is saying. Let the speaker know that you will honestly listen and be fully present for the conversation in mind, body and soul.
Expectant mothers and birth allies need to explore the whole world of childbirth together. There's a lot out there to read, watch and to discuss. The best way to help you work together is to keep the lines of communication open. Most of us have two ears, two eyes and one mouth. Which means we should all listen and read twice as much as we talk! Please join us as my wife and I work towards more people finding the joy of home birth at http://www.organic-birth.com
NOW when you sign-up for our Homebirth newsletter The Pea Pod, you get Four FREE... that's right... four FREE documents! We here at Organic-birth.com want to reward you with our great information in our e-zine! Plus, four wonderful downloads...a Regular Birth Plan, our very comprehensive Birth Supplies List, learn to be an Honest Listener with our 16 page booklet and then How to Interview a Midwife, where you learn how to find that person who best suits you and your birth! Remember it's all FREE...All you have to do is sign-up at http://www.organic-birth.com
John Rakestraw, My wife, Toni, and I have 8 wonderful children. We've had 4 home births and would love to help more families realize this dream!
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